Too Good at Goodbyes
by kthefangirl
Summary: This is just another short reunion fic. Song fic of Too Good at Goodbyes by Sam Smith. Mentions of Bellarke


A/N: This story has already been published, this version just doesn't have the lyrics in it. I wasn't aware that putting the issues in the story would be an issue since I've seen it many times before. The commenter mentioned something about account closure so I figured I would Just update it with this. I wrote this after I listened to Too Good at Goodbyes by Sam Smith for the first time in a while.

After a separation of over 6 years and everything they had gone through during that time Raven didn't expect Bellamy and Clarke to profess their undying love for eachother but she expected something more than this. Since their reunion, the two acted like hardly knew each other during the day but at night, when everyone settled in around the fire, Clarke would sit and watch them all. But she always paid the most attention to Bellamy.

A couple days ago she caught Bellamy doing the same in the morning.

She knew they had never admitted their feeling for each other during their first time on the ground and she know that things change but something was still there. All she knew was that if she had someone that looked at her the way Finn used to that she wouldn't waste any time, especially when they didn't know how much time there was

Clarke sat by the fire just like she did every night and looked at the people she loved. Minus her Mom, Kane, and Octavia every person she loved was around this fire.

She had been forced to live without them for so long. Isolated from everything she had ever known, even when she had though she had them all back and there were no immediate threats, she just couldn't let them in. Especially him.

When she saw their rocket shoot up into the yellow sky as Praimfaya raged behind her she had felt a sense of relief that she had never felt before. But she also felt a sense of dread. She wanted them to leave her, prayed that Bellamy wouldn't doom them all for her but it didn't make it hurt any less.

Those first few month she had spent blaming him. Damn him! He made her live. She could have been dead a million times over, deserved it even. After all that she had done. But he was there at every turn to drag her away from danger and remind her why she fighting. He was her people. She had to protect her people. And then he left her and she knew she still had to find a way to live because if she didn't he would blame himself. They all would and she couldn't let that happen.

So she would fight. Every single time she thought about ending it she thought about them up on the Ring and how they would come back someday and she would have to protect them again. She thought about her Mom a lot too.

She would bear the Burden of being alone so they wouldn't have to.

And then she had met Madi and everything changed. But not enough. She wasn't alone but as much as she had come to love the girl, she wasn't who she needed.

Now, they were back and Clarke just couldn't let them in the way she had dreamt about all those years. It wasn't that she didn't love them. She did, with her whole heart. She just didn't think she would be able to survive another goodbye.

The people laying in front her meant everything to her. She would go through everything she had a million times over to get them to this point. And she knew they loved her too. It was is Ravens gasp when she first saw her and the silent tears that streamed down her cheeks as she held Clarke close. It was in Monty's whispered "I missed you" as he sat next her that first night and the time he felt him make sure she was warm enough by stoking the fire. Most of all she had seen it in the way Bellamy's eyes widened in shock and how he started to shake when he picked her up and told her how sorry he was.

But, she couldn't do it. She couldn't open up to them for fear of them leaving again. They had eachother but she had no one.

All she knew was that she would say goodby to them all again if she had to because that's all she seemed to be good at.


End file.
